She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize