You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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