To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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