in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
