ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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