So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
