she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
