I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
