he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
