dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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