just come out here and I will go home with you...
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
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