you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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