How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
