No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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