Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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