I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
