Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
You're completely useless in the revolution.
My friends, they love my intelligence
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
