if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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