i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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