...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
