I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize