You work out of a Hotel?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
