so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I want a musical about memes.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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