The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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