check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
