You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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