the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
