she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
