Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Randomize
