About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
COCAINE IS GR8
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
