so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize