Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
