Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
