Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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