Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
he told me I talked like a deaf person
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
