So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
