sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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