Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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