I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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