everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
