? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
