I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
