Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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