its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
