I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
