Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Randomize
