I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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