I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
