It's Friday. Sex?
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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