Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
