I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
