Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I intend to get homeless drunk
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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