So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
