His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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