he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
