i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
