i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
