I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
