Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I would ride that face into the sunset
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
