ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
