hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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