Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize