We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize