ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
