***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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